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interracial love and identity
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| Support Awkward Black Girl! |
[30 Jul 2011|07:32pm] |
Hey guys, I just wanted to post this great web series if any of you haven't seen it yet, "Awkward Black Girl"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIVa9lxkbus
Buut It's been around for a while so you guys probably have seen it haha! It's so refreshing and inspiring to me and I really want to support it as much as I can. They have a Kickstarter to help raise money to finish their season, as basically the whole fanbase has been demanding more episodes. I'm not a part of this Production Team (so it's not like I have anything to gain haha), just a chick from DC with creative aspirations myself. On the kickstarter page you'll see the creator, Issa Rae explain her concept of the series. I've already contributed, and I'm doing what I can to spread the word because this sort of silly yet sophisticated representation of people of color is just SO RARE this decade. This series has already gotten lots of buzz from CNN, Essence, I think that continuing the series could help Issa Rae gain some clout in television. (optomistic, but whatever!) Just one dollar can help ABG!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1996857943/the-misadventures-of-awkward-black-girl
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| Hey, I don't think I've posted here before. |
[27 May 2011|09:08am] |
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I'm more of a lurker. But since browsing various privilege checklists, I was dismayed upon finding no black checklists (the black male one doesn't apply to me. It'd apply to my older brother though.) And of course, nothing on bi or multiracial privileges. Usually people don't know what I am. (They assume I'm Hispanic for some reason.)
 ( Pictures under a cut! )
If you're wondering, I'm mulatto (dad is white, mom was black) and my boyfriend is (obviously) white.
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| *Heaves a heavy sigh* |
[17 May 2011|03:36pm] |
Some jackass wrote an article that was featured on Psychology Today's website entitled "Why Are Black Women Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women." Here's a screencap of the article since the website has since removed it following an outcry: http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/9247/whyareblackwomenlessphy.png
I-I...I'm just SOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN TIRED of this shit!
Can we have Black Girl Island/Continent NOW, please? Then all of us ugly, unattractive, brutish, unlovable, rhino-hided she-beasts of BW can all retire there and not import one pixel or dot of outside media (we'd create our own in our own image) and then the rest of the world would no longer have to be subjected to our hideous, female Negressness. And we won't have to hear another utterance about how awful we are.
ETA--correct URL for screencap
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| The Conversation |
[02 Apr 2011|01:30pm] |
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One thing I've learned since being a member here and even in my own personal life is how important it is for POCs to have a sitdown with their white partners when it comes to race.
Many members have mentioned here, and I've witnessed in my own personal life is that there are many whites in interracial relationships, at best may not understand racial dynamics and need to be enlightened or at worst believe we live in a post racial society.
Members here have even mentioned how when they've endured racism, often their white partner will deny it or even try to gaslight them and victim blame by telling them that it's all in their head and that they only experience racism because they were looking for it or some other BS.
And while this is an issue in itself, it'll only be excarbated when children are brought into the mix. Children of color are going to need a strong supportive loving foundation in order to endure the scars of bigotry and institutional oppression. The last thing they need is for a parent to attack them for calling out racsim.
I'm going to also strongly urge any POC in an interracial relationship with a white person to do what I did and that's to have a sitdown with their partner. Let them know where you stand, let them know what you expect. That way, if they can't get with the program, you have that intel to plan accordingly in regards to the relationship. Although he had many wonderful qualities, my ex was not the most educated when it came to privilege, racism anti-oppression, social justice. And while he read my blog (where I regularly teach and call this ish out), he still had much to learn. Essentially I sat him down and told him that as my bf and as my partner, I expect XY and Z from him. And explained that if we were ever in certain predicaments (say at a party or somewhere and a friend or co-worker stepped out of line, I expected him to step up and defend me and call out said racism and to show his outrage that the man he loved was being disrespected and denigrated in the worst manner possible. Because it wasn't a matter of if a situation like this would transpire, it was a matter of when. Especially in the gay community. Should I have to tell my partner to do this? No. But I was giving him fair warning beforehand because I wasn't having any of that "I didn't know what to do or how to respond" ish. True to form some situations did transpire. But I will say to his credit while my ex still has a lot to learn, he stepped up and handled his and impressed me a lot.
I know we have a lot of members who vary in life experiences on this forum and I just wanted to share some of mine in the hopes that it helps them.
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| Article about TV's representation of interracial couples |
[19 Mar 2011|03:25pm] |
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http://www.startribune.com/entertainment/tv/117538418.html
For the link-o-phobes: ( Read more )
______________________________________________________________________________
I would love to see a realistic (*snerk* TV and REALISM?!) balance in portraying IR couples. Either every moment in the relationship is filled with racial angst, or is like an ABC Afterschool Special on the eeevullz of racism or race is never mentioned. It's actually a combo of the two and how much of one vs the other depends on the individual couple.
In terms of couples like mine, I'd love to see an end to the "poor, put-upon WM dealing with taming his wild, captive Negress" trope where the BW is painted as over-sensitive to hysterical and the White husband is just trying to cope. Certain questions that may not have to be asked in monoracial relationships may have to be broached in interracial ones such as "Why are you dating me? Does my race have anything to do with it?" "Is your reluctance to have kids with me partly or wholly because they'll be mixed?" "Why would you think I'd be comfortable moving to an all-White neighborhood with you?" Asking these questions does not make the asker irrational.
From ![[info]](http://l-files.livejournal.net/userhead/322?v=1321200404) amaterasu_no_ki: I feel like any fictional depiction of white men with women of color (which is rare) is always some kind of supposedly humorous casting of a White Man Just Like You trying to cope with the strange, fiery, unpredictable culture of his alien woman of color wife/girlfriend/partner. We are clearly supposed to sympathize with the white man and not the woman, and it's always the Wonders of a Brown Culture that loosen him up and make him take life less seriously (with the implication that being brown is just one big party! We don't take anything seriously, amirite).
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| Hey guys :) |
[10 Mar 2011|11:25pm] |
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I seriously already love this community.
So yes, my full on real name is Ceyanne but everyone calls me Rainie. I'm from Detroit. I am technically mixed. White father and black mother who raised me all by herself. I believe races in general are nothing more than colonizers' excuse. Everyone should just embrace their colours and be as tolerant as circumstances allow. Discrimination, fear and ridiculous crimes got to stop. You interracial people will get where I'm coming from.
Just a random recent photo so you can see a face behind the thoughts.
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| What Breed Of Mix Are You? |
[15 Feb 2011|07:35am] |
Dear Ignorant White Peepul,
If you're out at a club or a bar and you happen upon a person of color who is trying to enjoy a nice evening out with his boyfriend, if the second question (following what is your name) you ask said POC is "What Nationality Are You?", and if you're given the answer "American" and then follow up "What Ethnicity Are You?" said POC is well within his rights to give you the side-eye.
And if you continue to pester them and demand they reveal their ethnicity when they've politely made it abundantly clear that they don't wish to do so, they may not be as polite about matters as I was.
This warped sense of entitlement and mindset that POCs have no station and we are under obligation to reveal all to white folks at the drop of a dime just reeks of white privilege. I mean seriously? Would your life really not go on if you didn't know what race I am? Was that intel that crucial for you to be able to function? I mean really?
Oh I'm sure you weren't intending to be malicious or hateful. I'm sure you were trying to pay me a well-meaning compliment about how I'm exotic and beautiful or whatever. I'm sure you weren't intending to be racist which is the only reason why I was perfectly polite and respectful and didn't spend the rest of the evening trying to make you cry.
The bottom line is who I choose to reveal my ethnicity to, is my choice. And if I don't tell you, then it probably means that IT'S NONE OF YOUR GAWD DAMN BUSINESS.
I'm not some fucking dog where you can inquire about the degree of my pedigree and what fucking mix I am.
But what you fail to understand is that for most people of color, we're constantly labeled and profiled and judged by the color of our skin on a daily basis. Whether it's being harassed by Nazis with a badge for driving 40 in a 45, store clerks who act nonplussed that we're spending money in their establishment and follow us around thinking we're going to rob the joint, or legal documents and papers are asked of us because of the color of our skin many think that we couldn't possibly be "Real Americans," it doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize why many of us would love nothing more than to not be judged or harassed by our race.
So for some of us, we like to occassionally take our mind off the fact that this country is immensely RACIST, BIGOTED AND FUCKED UP and have a nice night out on the town with someone we care about. In my case, my bf who happens to be white. So the last thing we need is for a complete stranger to come up and start pestering us about our nationality, race, ethnicity or the racial makeup of our parents.
So please don't do harass POCs about revealing their ethnicity. It's rude, it's uncomfortable, and it's offensive.
And no, this isn't even some aspect of advanced level race theory or some obscure PC anti-oppression concept, that's just simple fucking human decency, respect, and common sense.
And while you did apologize (and that certainly puts you ahead of many), I do hope you learned from this. Genuinely truly learned from this.Because the next POC might not be as gracious and polite as I was. And then you'll really be wondering why we're all so militant and soooooo meeeeeeeeeean.
K? Thanks.
-Neo_Prodigy
ETA: Yes I've had POCs pull this shit too and they are wrong as well and I've shut them down too. However there's a huge fundamental different racial dynamic with a privileged white person demanding a person of color revealing their ethnicity. And that privilege is what's being called out.
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[14 Feb 2011|04:37pm] |
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This is one of the many reasons I hate conversations about interracial relationships:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/postsecret/211391.html?thread=24706495#t24706495
Everything about them has to be 1) a teaching moment and 2) result in a Kumbaya epiphany.
And if you're a PoC who doesn't have the spoons for MORE free race teaching once you get home after a day of expending that energy to others then you're a mean, evil person who should just stay with your own kind.
( Read more )
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| Dear Asshole Come to Light on Another Internet Forum, |
[09 Feb 2011|07:20am] |
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If you try to throw my interracial marriage in my face, no matter how "subtle" you THINK you're being I'm going to 1) think you are a moron and 2) pretty much let you fall by the wayside forever afterward, especially if you do it to imply that I'm not "Black enough" for marrying a White man.
Seriously? Fa real? Fa really real? Fo' serious? Fo' true?
See, I'm old (42) and this, by far, has NOT been my first interracial go-'round. Not by a looooooooooooooooooongshot. I've endured DECADES of stares and comments from folks I know and complete strangers. I've been called everything from "not Black enough" to a White man's whore, and the latter came from my own mother. Lovely woman. So your passive-agressive attempts to throw shade on my marriage are 1) not new to me at all and 2) not even original. I mean, damn. I'mma need bigots to come up with some NEW shit. At least get creative with your racist misogyny.
Oh and do not try to engage in projection and deny it by accusing ME of being the angry one. Um, YOU were the one who brought up my marriage to try and somehow shame me into changing my behavior on that forum. Yeah, so did NOT work. If anything. I'm going to make that behavior even MORE obnoxious than you found it before.
So I'm going to just treat you like the idiot you've shown yourself to be.
Aaaaaawww! You mad son? Good. Eat it.
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| Raising Children: How to overcome what life brings |
[20 Dec 2010|01:02am] |
I'm not sure how much I will ramble on here, but I've been married for 2 years going on 3 years this coming March. My husband and I have no children yet, I am 26 and he is 27. I am extremely apprehensive about having children because I haven't dealt with my own emotional traumas growing up, and I am completely unprepared to help someone else through life as a black person. I fear having a daughter most. I wouldn't want her to have felt the way I have, and still do under the stress of microaggressions from outsiders and worse from people considered friends. I wouldn't know how to address the racism that a son or daughter of mine would experience, at least not in a way that I myself would find comforting.
My husband wouldn't be much help, since he's of the school of thought that any perceived racism was most likely misinterpreted by the person experiencing it. I don't know how he would react if he witnessed any degree of it towards our children, or if he would notice at all. So, if they came to me for help or advice if someone or someones made them feel bad or awkward because of their race, what might be helpful? How would I become the person they would need me to be at that time?
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interracial
