Brand New...

I just recently joined this community....

I consider myself to be biracial...especially because of the difference between the cultures I was raised in. My father's side of the family is mostly caucasian and my mother's side is black and Native American. I am a 21-year old almost college grad who has dealt with race and the issues that come with people not understanding what they are presented with when they see me my whole life. People are always expecting me to be a certain way just by looking at me, until I open my mouth. I often use humor as a way to mask the fact that at times I feel insecure being the only black person in my entire group of friends....they always insist that they don't see my "color" but I know that's not entirely truthful.

I am attracted to caucasian guys and really want to be in an interracial relationship but I find that my confidence is crippled by the fact that I am always thinking they aren't REALLY into me....it's just a phase, or they want to be "just friends", or I'm the only kind of girl they haven't dated yet. And my experience with this is rather recent...I liked a friend for years and yet I feel he didn't "see" me as an option because of my racial background...and probably because I veiled it well...and was too scared to come out with it! But I doubt it ever entered his mind. But on the flipside it took my last boyfriend, who was Spanish and Mexican, a good 6 months to convince me that he loved my mocha skin and interesting ethnic background even though it was vastly different from his own. So I guess I can't be hypocritical, but instead should learn and try and grow with each relationship.

I joined because I want to express how I feel about interracial relationships and also, I liked what I read and am interested in hearing and commenting on the thoughts and musings of everyone else in this community....